How to Seduce ― and Then Dump ― a Vegan

Our favorite morsel from the Web.

The Bold Italic's Laura Beck offers a date-by-date restaurant guide to landing, shagging, and then dumping a vegan boy ― not since Tablehopper's book has there been such a sassy tweaking of the restaurant tipster form. Beck:

The first step that begins the running leap into a vegan's crotch starts with a first date. If you live each day like it's your rocking last (strongly advised), you probably assume you need to take a vegan to Millennium to get the panties dropping. You'd be wrong. That's the kind of crazy-ass first date move that ends in a restraining order or a marriage to an equally crazy-crazy. Either way, you don't want that. You need to ease in with some trips to off-the-beaten-path hidden gems with good veg options.

See? Sass.

Beck's narrative through city staging grounds of animal-free lust starts at Old Jerusalem, moves on to Udupi Palace, Waziema, and Saha, before souring harder than a quart of weeks-old udder milk in the perfect break-up zone of ― well, we'll let Beck reveal that. Sheesh: For a people who shun cruelty as applied to veal calves, vegans can sure relish the kill when it comes to doofus boys they've grown tired of.

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