Where to Pick Up Sailors During Fleet Week

Ass, ahoy! The Blue Angels have arrived, giving us all a much-needed distraction from work as they loudly practice their swan dives above our fair city. In addition to being a good excuse to look out the window, these Navy planes also mark the influx of sailors, a military presence almost entirely extinct from our quasi-liberal haven.

I know I’m not just speaking for myself when I say I love a man in uniform, and Fleet Week brings prime pickings. If you’re like most Americans and harbor (pun absolutely intended) a secret Danielle Steele-level fantasy about a sailor taking his shore leave in your bedroom, then let me help guide you to the best places in San Francisco to get naughty-cal. Stick with this guide and I can almost guarantee you'll get seamen on your poop deck. 

[jump] The Tipsy Pig
The Marina in general is a hotbed of hot bods this week, but this Chestnut Street bar is especially great at facilitating some “accidental” sailor sidling, since it’s so crowded. It helps that most of the festivities take place nearby, so you can get your fill of sexy seafarers in addition to terrible quality iPhone photos of blurry blue jets.
2231 Chestnut, 415-292-2300.

Hi Dive/Red’s Java House
Sailors are aplenty onboard the USS Somerset, a big-ass Navy ship (or amphibious transport dock) currently moored at Piers 30-32. Bars and restaurants along the waterfront south of the Bay Bridge are similarly teeming with eligible bachelors in their crisp white uniforms. If you’re looking for a quick connection with someone who is leaving in a few days, or with someone who can impregnate you so you have a cool story to tell your future child, head right to the source.
Hi Dive, Pier 28 1/2, 415-977-0170.
Red's Java House, Pier 30, 415-777-5626.

Casanova Lounge
The Navy’s own Casanovas are on San Francisco soil after a long trip at sea, and what’s the first thing they’re going to seek before bedding all us horny locals? That’s right: burritos. Word on the street is the sailors are flocking to the Mission to stuff as many burritos into their mouths as they can before returning to their ships, despite the fact that burritos in no way reduce sailors’ chances of getting scurvy. But if you hang around long enough, a sailor may just have you for dessert. 
527 Valencia, 415-863-9328.

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