We love fancy food as much as the next San Francisco asshole, but there are times when we just want an enormous plate of mediocre slop. Every now and then we need to walk into a place that looks the same in S.F. as it does in Des Moines, and we need to order 52 plates of mozzarella sticks and a small Diet Coke that's actually the size of an NFL linebacker's thigh. We want, nay, need a zucchini stuffed with cheese, deep-fried, smothered in cheese, and then deep-fried again. Then we need it topped with whipped cream and served with a margarita the size of a hot tub. Is that so wrong?
This post right here is about chain restaurants that serve you like the American that you are. Screw Blue Bottle, we're talking blue plate specials, yo.