Tonight, the Black Keys are playing the Oracle Arena in Oakland. Did you know they were that big now? We kind of thought they'd be a Fox Theater band forever. Especially since there are so many damn bands with “Black” in their names. Speaking of which, we want to honor Black Keys' arena-playing prowess in the face of having a 'typical' band name by paying tribute to the best and worst of all those other bands with “Black” in their names. (We can't cover all of them, or we'd be here all day). Behold!
Black Eyed Peas
We're not even going to patronize you with a detailed explanation about why Black Eyed Peas are one of the worst things to ever happen to music — you would have to be completely deaf to not already know why. Wait. Actually, make that deaf and blind, since merely looking at them is enough to deduce their heinousness. Who buys this crap? We genuinely cannot figure it out.