If you love "Bootie" and you feel "Guilty," then it's time to get "Smashed."

When they're not overseeing the revelry at their monthly mash-up night at Cherry Bar, “Bootie,” or making sure everyone is sufficiently fucked up and getting into all sorts of mischief at the Stud during their late, late Friday night club “Guilty,” DJs Adrian and the Mysterious D head over to the other side of Market Street, where, at the dive-y Cinch, they generously present us with yet another reason to love them, “Smashed.” Much more low key than its two famous cousins, “Smashed” is just as satisfying, pumping out more pop and rock than dance beats. Queens of the Stone Age, Hole, the Hives, Missy Elliott, Felix da Housecat, the Cure, and Miss Kittin are just a smattering of the artists you might hear steaming from the speakers. The music starts at 9 p.m. Thursdays. There is no cover charge; call 776-4162 or visit

The mash-up craze the kids are experimenting with these days is proving to be more popular than fellatio in the back of our high schools' classrooms. Rx Gallery's “Robot:Booty,” however, breathes fresh air into the trend by synchronizing bootlegged tunes with assorted '60s propaganda films, commercials from the '70s and '80s, videotaped car crashes, plastic surgeries, child beauty pageants, and all sorts of other arty clips du cinéma. In addition to his effortless mixing of sight and sound, DJ Jim Hopkins will also offer frighteningly hip beats ranging from Miami bass, '80s electro, and ghetto-tech to freestyle and breakbeats. And remember — the bar offers wine and beer only, so smuggle contraband in or get your drink on early. The night begins at 9 on Saturday, Aug. 28. Admission is $6-10; call 863-1274 or visit

Well into its third year, “Mayonnaise” stands out as one of the city's longest-running and most popular weeklies, as well as a most happening place to catch house and breaks on a Tuesday night. Promoters and resident DJs Tonic, J-Fi, and Melyss don't require you to dress your best — although one should always try doing so, really — or slap on your cheap, stale cologne. Instead they simply ask you to come down and have fun along with their loyal minions. What's more, they spin at the ever so charming and spacious Skylark. When the crowd at Dalva proves too overwhelming and the masses at Blondie's too annoying, you must stumble on over to “Mayonnaise.” Denver-based DJ Tom Hoch guests this week. The glee begins at 9 p.m. this Tuesday, Aug. 31. Admission is free; call 621-9294 or visit

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