Dance Your Schadenfreude Away at ‘FYRE’d: A Fyre Festival Mock Event’

Can't get enough of the biggest music-festival disaster of the 21st century? Dance your tush off on April 5 to tunes by all the acts who were booked to play at Fyre.

Although the Jeff Bezos sexts may have pushed it even further out of the news, millions of people are still chuckling with satisfaction over the debacle that was 2017’s Fyre Festival. After two documentaries on Netflix and Hulu laid bare the depths of the deception and sad cheese sandwiches, a group of organizers have decided to keep the party going.

Nope, it’s not a love-in on rain-soaked mattresses in hurricane-recovery tents on some undeveloped gravel pit. It’s FYRE’d: A Fyre Festival Mock Event, or the greatest party to ever happen in commemoration of the Greatest Party That Never Happened β€” and there will be Evian-saturated mattresses in the photo booth.

On Friday, April 5, at a Bay Area location that’s still TBD β€” owing to demand having forced it from its too-small original venue β€” hosts Danny DeLorean, Neba Kaneza, and special guests present a night full of music from acts who were “booked” to play at the fake private island in the Bahamas two years ago.

That includes co-organizer Ja Rule, Blink 182 (who, in fairness, backed out early), Disclosure, Migos, Major Lazer, Claptone, Le Youth, and many others. Costumes are encouraged, and there’s a contest that stipulates “the more creative the better, but must be somewhat representative of the failed Fyre Fest event.” While organizers suggest such themes as “Sexy Vapid Millennial” and “Lord of the Flies Jungle Kid,” probably a lot of people will arrive as Andy King, the gay sweater dad who was prepared to perform oral sex on a Bahamian customs official to keep Fyre preparations on track (and who now has his own TV deal). Doubtless other people will show up in head-to-toe orange, the same hue as the FuckJerry Instagram tile that got pan-galactically important influencers so jazzed about Billy McFarland’s luxury villas in the first place.

It almost sounds like McFarland’s follow-up hustle, but it’s not a scam, and DeLorean promises that it won’t be on Alcatraz. Screening excerpts from the documentaries, there will be inflatable pigs, cardboard cutouts of Kendall Jenner, “live footage of the artists at gigs that actually happened,” and more, all of it at a white dome tent serving discounted Fireball and Jack Daniel’s Fire, plus cheese sandwiches with a side salad. 

If you can’t make it, you can always wait for the forthcoming Fyre spoof made by Seth Rogen and the Lonely Island. But don’t Venmo $12,000 to anyone selling first-class tickets on Virgin Galactic to a meet-and-greet with Diplo on a V.I.P. orbital space station just for beautiful narcissists.

FYRE’d: A Fyre Festival Mock Event, Friday, April 5, 9:30 p.m.-2 a.m., venue to be determined.

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