(Photo “The Cute Fanboys Lack Focus” by Ben Rosenberg)
Better than: The AP Calculus exam
I've never been good at pretending to be important, so I wasn't quite sure what to do last night at the Slim's will-call window. The long-awaited Battles set had just started, the show was totally sold out, and my boyfriend/photographer Ben was not on the list where he was supposed to be. What to do? Being a stand-by-your-man/photographer kinda girl, I couldn't leave him out on the cold SOMA streets alone. Yelling at the ticket girl wouldn't have helped, since it was a publicist in New York who screwed up, and I never yell at people anyway. So I did what I always do when I get aggravated: make fun of someone else. “Hello, sweet dude,” I said as a stout bridge'n'tunnel type with awful slicked-back hair approached the ticket window. “Yeah, that's Mike Patton,” Ben said. And not a moment too soon! Slim's house manager appeared to whisk Patton through the back doors, and we were able to talk her into letting us buy another ticket.