‘My Most Memorable Thanksgiving Dinner’

Filling in the funk with DJ and electronic producer GRiZ

I’m a huge fan of Thanksgiving. In fact, I’m getting all groovy (adjective) just thinking about it. Though I always have a sultry (adjective) time, I will never forget the Thanksgiving dinner I had at my tour manager Stu’s (person you know) house in 1969 (year), because it was hands-down the cutest (adjective) one ever.

I arrived at Stu’s house in San Francisco (city) at 4:20 p.m. (time of day). Since I arrived early, I had a few people to show my new thong (item of clothing) from Salvation Army (clothing store) to, but it didn’t matter: I knew the others would see it and be bewildered (emotion) later.

To pass the time, I danced (verb ending in -ed), smoked (verb ending in -ed), and posted a few selfies to Instagram (social media site). To be honest, it was hard to wait because I hadn’t eaten anything since Friday (day) in order to make space in my stomach, but I survived.

When everyone arrived, all 31 (number) of us grabbed a seat at Stu’s dining room table. The table looked lovely, with tea candles, trees (plural noun), sneakers (plural noun), and faux fall foliage sprinkled across it, and everyone’s glass was filled to the brim with cherry cola (beverage/liquid).

Stu brought out his famous turkey and placed it in the center of the table, along with a slew of other dishes, like mashed potatoes (Thanksgiving dish) and gravy (Thanksgiving dish). But before we could eat, we had to go around the table and say what we were grateful for. Some people said they were grateful for Dave Chappelle coming back on TV (current event from this year), while others said they were grateful for nothing (your favorite thing about Las Vegas). But when it was my turn, I said I was grateful for my family (something you are grateful for). Everyone warned (verb ending in -ed) when I said it, and then we started eating.

Everything tasted great, except for the brownies (food), which tasted like digestion (bodily function). Things got a little stressful in the middle of the meal when my brother (family member) started choking on a piece of sandwich (f00d), and I had to jump (present tense verb) him to get it out. One of my cousins got a little drunk and ended up singing Prince’s “Breakfast Can Wait” (song title), which got very annoying until someone slapped him in the toes (body part) and he stopped.

For dessert, we had ice cream (dessert dish), which tasted delicious, but later gave me the flu (ailment). By the end of the meal, I was so full that I had to take off my Louis Vuitton (designer name) belt, and I promised myself that the next morning I would spend three years (amount of time) at the gym to make up for all the calories I had eaten.

All in all, it was a great Thanksgiving holiday that was even better than the year my aunt accidentally lit her arm (body part) on fire.

GRiZ plays with Lettuce, Haywyre, and Brasstracks at 6:30 p.m., Saturday, Nov. 26, at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. $39.50; tickemaster.com.

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