Them's Fightin' Words
If you watched any of the Lollapalooza coverage on MTV or E! last week, you may have caught a glimpse of S.F.'s favorite masked Mexican wrestler, La Chingona, as she challenged fellow 'paloozer Courtney Love to a no-holds-barred match in the “square circle.” Though Paradise Lounge regulars might have noted uncanny similarities between the voluptuous La Chingona and a certain well-endowed Paradise employee, Chingona sets the record straight: In 1971, a masked infant was discovered atop a large Christmas tree in a Union Square department store and was taken to the Orphanage for Wayward Wrestlers. Adopted by La Bruja Roja and the Incredible Invisible, Chingona soon displayed superhuman strength. In school, she studied the three R's — readin', ritin', and rastlin' — and, for the past five years, has been making a name for herself in remote parts of Mexico and here in her hometown. And La Chingona jumped at the opportunity to tour with Lollapalooza. “Finally, I'll be close enough to challenge that cheap Nancy Spungen wannabe to a match,” La Chingona says. “Courtney Love bugs me!” As of press time, she was awaiting response from Love's camp.

Local Cyberboy Makes Good
It wasn't as bad as the “Boxers or briefs?” spectacle of Bill Clinton's MTV appearance, but last week's Newt Raw special did little to sharpen the network's dull political edge. “Both the length of the show and its format — which included six panelists, a celebrity reporter, and a hot-air-filled congressman who never stops talking — basically guaranteed that there would be no serious debate about anything,” says panelist Rob Levine, a HotWired editor and SF Weekly contributor, who was told to avoid “policy-wonk” language. Gingrich may have skirted around actually addressing questions on the Contract With America and unfunded mandates, but he did come clean on his favorite Beatle before the show: Ringo, of course, though Newt told Levine he “doesn't find his new Pizza Hut commercial particularly effective.”

Throbbing Gristle
As Samples reported last April, industrial and rave culture progenitor/provocateur Genesis P-Orridge was critically injured when he leapt out of a window during a fire at Rick Rubin's L.A. guest house. With no health insurance, a gigantic medical bill, and a need for physical therapy, P-Orridge faces a financial black hole, so his friends are throwing Trip Reset, a benefit Thursday, July 20, at 1015 Folsom. Expect a performance by P-Orridge's Psychic TV, DJ Cheb i Sabbah, Brian Jonestown Massacre, DJs, and more. Tickets are$10; call 789-7351.

By Silke Tudor, Sia Michel

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