The House of Tudor

Pressed on clear vinyl with a '50s-style picture sleeve, Tip Top is the first 45 local rockers the Sugar King Boys have recorded for Denver-based Wormtone Records, but it certainly won't be the last. The four-song EP not only has the look, feel, and, um, taste of an Old Fashioned, but it sounds close enough to the real thing to be heard blaring out of a '64 Chevy — the first time around. If you wiggle your ears, the two originals, penned by double-bass player Jose Espinosa, could pass as vintage Gene Vincent. Celebrate their triumph on Wednesday, Feb. 26, at 9 p.m. at the Chameleon, 853 Valencia. Tickets are $4; call 821-1891. The Visitacion Valley Boys open and DJ Tracy Dick spins. … For those who have been missing the cozy trip-hop vibe of the Black Diamond Lounge, the Ninja Tunes Stealth Tour might be as close as you are going to get this year. Brought to San Francisco by Funky Tekno Tribe, “Stealth” is a club hosted in the U.K. by the Ninja Tunes crew (the formidable label created by Coldcut's Matt Black and Jonathan More that specializes in breakthrough beats of all denominations). Tonight's experience includes some of the world's most innovative table wizards such as DJs Food (a pseudonym Black and More share), Vadim, Herbaliser, and Kid Koala, as well as local jockeys Dark Horse, Felix the Cat (Black Diamond), and Professor Smith. The trip begins on Friday, Feb. 28, at 9 p.m., and will go on until 6 a.m. at 177 Townsend. Tickets are $15; call 266-8215. … Mojo Nixon, the king of all rock 'n' roll nutjobs, recently released a 17-song retrospective that spans 13 years and six bands. Never again will you crave such classics as “Jesus at McDonald's,” “Stuffin' Martha's Muffin,” “Burn Down the Malls,” “Elvis Is Everywhere,” “Kylie Minogue Is Pregnant With My Two-Headed Love Child” (later adapted for the U.S. as “Debbie Gibson Is Pregnant With My Two-Headed Love Child”), or “Don Henley Must Die.” If you are too embarrassed to buy a copy of Gadzooks!!!, but can't quite squelch your morbid fascination, check out Nixon live on Saturday, March 1, at Slim's (333 11th St.) at 9 p.m. Tickets are $10; call 522-0333. Bone Cootes opens. … It is said that great chefs have the greatest egos in all the world — yes, surpassing even those of rock stars. Given that, wouldn't it be delightful to witness culinary masters from Zuni covered in gelatinous goo? The fifth annual Shuck & Swallow Oyster Challenge will provide ample opportunity as chefs from San Francisco's most prestigious restaurants suck, slurp, and gag their way through hundreds of oysters in the name of charity. The Steinhart Aquarium benefit begins at 4 p.m. on Monday, March 3, in the Ghirardelli Square Plaza. The event is free to the public; call 929-1730. The Swamis offer up a surf 'n' groove soundtrack, and if you're not too nauseated by the gluttony, you can slip back to McCormick & Kuleto's (900 North Point) for an oyster-and-wine pairing at 5 p.m. Tickets are $20. … The Sore Losers, the new movie by Bang Gang and Supersexxx comic-book creator John Michael McCarthy, will bring lovers of juvenile delinquency films to their knees. Blackie (played by Jack Oblivian) returns from the future to Mississippi where he must, under the instruction of The Elder (played by '50s sexploitation pioneer David F. Friedman), slay 12 victims. Through no fault of his own, Blackie becomes responsible for 13 deaths and must drag the last victim around with him until he has doctored the situation. The cosmic FBI, better known as The Men In Black (played by Tokyo punks Guitar Wolf), arrives on the scene and therein the chaos ensues. It's everything you've ever wanted in a movie — girls with guns; angels with beer; catfights in an electric chair; hippie-eating hoodlums; and a lime-green Pacer facing off with a UFO-powered '55 Chevy. Check out the debut screening at the Transmission Theater (314 11th St.) on Tuesday, March 4, at 8:30 p.m. Tickets are $12; call 263-6884. Live music will be supplied by Deadbolt, “the world's scariest band,” and by Portland's Incinerators. (That's reason enough to go.) McCarthy invites women of all shapes and sizes to join him on the casting couch for consideration in future endeavors.

— Silke Tudor

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