Top 6 Songs About Sex That'll Make You Celibate: Happy Valentine's Day

In case you forgot, it's Valentine's Day — the one day of the year where everyone is contractually obliged to go out and get laid or fear feeling bad about themselves until Feb. 15 rolls around. Well, in the interest of restoring balance to the world, we wanted to offer some reminders that sometimes sex isn't always the answer. Here then, are the top six songs about sex that'll probably just make you want to embrace celibacy.

6. Ludacris featuring Shawnna, “What's Your Fantasy?”

Holy crap, this song is amazing. Significantly though, despite being all about the act of humping, it is not even remotely sexy. The reasons for that are threefold: (1) It is impossible to listen to without jumping up and down, grinding against a friend in a platonic, comedy manner and laughing hysterically. (2) A portion of this song hinges on trying to make the act of licking man toes sound sexy. At best, that's a chore, at worst it's a torture device. And (3) the song's sex factor is further hindered by the fact that the video appears to be a parody of every single rap video ever made. Fine work, but definitely not sexy.

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