When No One Loves You, Corporate Email is There

In the realm of manipulative marketing tactics, it doesn't get much

better than a love letter. “Do you love J.Crew?” the email wants to

know. But before you have time to think about it, the subject line

assumes your devotion to the brand and announces, “We love you too.”


Is there anything more hollow than a proclamation of love issued by a giant, soulless clothing company to a mass email list? Maybe it's realizing that you haven't gotten an “I love you email” in your inbox in months. Actually, it might be the first one you've gotten all year, you think, as you reach for the vodka. And it's from J.Crew.

“Well, that one sweater is really great. It's timeless,” you think as you take a long pull from the bottle. “Can someone fetch me my credit card? At least I can dry my big, lonely tears on a pile of cashmere.”

 Come to think of it, this marketing campaign actually kind of works.

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