Do You Think Big Tobacco Is a Bunch of Rotten, Death-Dealing Bastards? Well, Survey Says You're Probably Not a Smoker.

A U.C. San Francisco study has revealed that young adults who deeply believe that the tobacco industry is composed of low-down, degenerate, gutless, slimy, watermelon-fucking sons of bitches are far less likely to smoke than their colleagues with less malevolent feelings toward Big Tobacco.

While this seems like the ultimate no-brainer, UCSF scientists say the data reveals a lot; this, they claim, is the first study to ever link interviewees' attitudes toward the tobacco industry to 18-to-25-year-olds' actual behavior. Depending upon young adults' responses to queries like “Taking a stand against smoking is important to me” or “I would like to see cigarette companies go out of business,” researchers claim those with strongly anti-tobacco sentiments are only one-third as likely to smoke as their more wishy-washy companions. Those who do smoke — but badmouth the industry — are four times more likely to seriously contemplate quitting than blasé respondents.

The findings — published this month in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine — give ammo to those who'd like to see Big Tobacco targeted as a bunch of heartless bastards in advocacy commercials and pamphlets — instead of the traditional approach that merely emphasizes cigarette-smoking will lead to your slow and painful death. 

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