Five Reasons It's Better to Have a Dog Than a Kid

Not too long ago, I witnessed an woman accompanying what appeared to be her infant grandchildren to lunch. She rocked the stroller back and forth, while spewing baby talk and breaking off small pieces of cheese to feed them.

But upon closer examination, I was perplexed and somewhat disturbed when I saw that there were two small dogs — not kids — inside the stroller, dressed in sporty T-shirts. This kind of pampering your pets as if they were children has become so bizarrely commonplace that I wasn't all that shocked to read today that there are more American households with dogs than there are with children.

But when you think about it, it does seem more logical to own a dog rather than care for your own offspring. Here's why:

1. You don't have to pay for college: By the time your kids turn 18, they've bled you dry of your surplus emotions and money. And now you have to pay for them to go to some crappy university to just get wasted. But dogs? Well, they won't even live to be 18.

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