Loyal readers of this page — and, perhaps, no one else — are familiar with eccentric mayoral candidate Harold Miller. His position statements include impressing Jerry Rice into coaching an expansion football team at Candlestick Park; setting up an 800 number so streetcorner beggars can be impressed into safe houses; and, eye-catchingly, teaching Asians to avert beatings and murders at the hands of black youth by “look[ing] Blacks in the eye as a sign of respect.”
Well, where do we sign up? Actually, that's just what Miller wants you to do. As an aspiring write-in candidate, he has until Oct. 25 to submit 20 signatures to the Department of Elections to qualify. Per his home page, should Miller's novel take on San Francisco's plight appeal to you, he will “stop by your home with the petition.” This message is translated into 10 different languages, including Hebrew, Arabic, and several that appear to simply be computer gibberish.
Miller doesn't want your money — so it's fortunate there's no cash requirement for would-be write-in candidates. After all, their names don't appear on the ballot. Yes, it's a good bet that a hefty plurality of San Franciscans have no idea who the mayor is. But the discerning voters, the ones who watch reruns of government meetings on Channel 27 and receive shouts of “NOOOOOOOOORM!” when they wander into City Hall, can ask for a list of write-in candidates at their polling places. Those voting absentee can call the Department of Elections and induce a government employee to read them that list.