Here's What SF's New $9 Billion Budget Will Buy

City Hall recently reached an agreement on a $9 billion budget for San Francisco. What do we get for our $9 billion?


  • Tax breaks subsidizing the tech company that pays the worker who evicted you from your home
  • Below-market-rate potholes
  • The new Dolores Park has 20% more hipsters, and they’re 16% more hip
  • Police officers’ texts now 38% more racist
  • This year, we'll finally test those rape kits
  • Inmate fighting rings in the city jail now simulcast
  • Graffiti has become bolder and more sexual for the discerning adult audience
  • Senior citizens recall the old days as being 41% better 
  • The Haight St. McDonald's will now automate police crackdowns


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