Joe Nedney, Who Saved Humanity from Killer Robot, to Retire

Joe Nedney, the 49ers kicker whose frequent lower-body injuries couldn't keep him from rescuing civilization as we know it from a killer, field-goal-kicking robot, is expected to announce his retirement today. From kicking, that is. He may yet once more save humanity at such time as his services are required.

Since the 49ers have been wretched to just shy of mediocre for the past nine seasons, it was easy to miss how well Nedney performed as the team's kicker. A specialist can help a subpar team only so much, but, now that he's apparently calling it a career, his numbers do stand out: He made 86.6 percent of his field goals for San Francisco, never missed an extra point, and scored 541 points.

All of that pales in comparison, however, to the foggy April morning last year when Nedney lined up against Ziggy the killer robot as humanity's champion.

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