List: Why Is Gavin Newsom Leaving San Francisco?

After living for years in Ashbury Heights, the lieutenant governor is schlepping north to an estate in Ross. Why is Gavin Newsom leaving San Francisco?

• His work here is done: Care Not Cash was such a success that there are no more homeless people

• Bay to Breakers isn't as cool anymore

• Fucking hipsters

• The media made him cry

• Still trying to one-up Chris Daly

• Waaaay too many potholes. Somebody should do something about that

• It turns out a lot of people were only pretending to be his friend because he was the mayor

• In his heart, he always lived in Marin

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