After threatening to punt our recall into March — a potential delay of five long months, or 104 Leno monologues — the 9th Circuit has thankfully reversed itself, calling to mind a dog growling at its own wagging tail. Now, with the election just days away, the campaigns are sure to reach fever pitch: Gray Davis desperately raising the roof at L.A. First Baptist; Bustamante polishing his forehead, and McClintock, his Bushmaster; Schwarzenegger invading Poland. It'll be a breathless stretch run, and we want to give you the best view. With that in mind, we'd like to offer you something new and exciting, something that will keep you attuned to every quiver of this raucous exercise in popular democracy: SF Weekly's recall rotisserie game, RotoRecall!®.
The game is simple: Create a team of eight (8) candidates by choosing one from each group listed below. Your candidates will accumulate points based on several criteria: votes, Google hits, media mentions, and Kelsey Grammer. The winner is the team with the highest score, and will receive something or other. We will tabulate the results after the Oct. 7 election. Send your entries to firstname.lastname@example.org no later than noon on Election Day. Scoring is as follows:
Votes: Candidates who receive between 100 and 1,000 votes are awarded five (5) points; between 1,000 and 10,000, 10 points; between 10,000 and 100,000, 20 points; between 100,000 and 1 million, 40 points; more than 1 million, 80 points.
Google hits: Candidates whose names net between 100 and 1,000 hits are awarded two (2) points; between 1,000 and 10,000, four (4) points; between 10,000 and 100,000, eight (8) points; between 100,000 and 1 million, 16 points; more than 1 million, 32 points. Note: We will not waste our time sifting through every hit, so a score for, say, Michael Jackson would include Google hits for both the deluded Southern Californian who thinks he matters and the guy from Long Beach running for governor.
Media mentions: Candidates are scored on their appearances in various newspapers and magazines (one story counts as one mention). We have weighted the publications thusly:
Los Angeles Times: Half (1/2) a point per mention after July 24, 2003.
New Republic: One (1) point per mention.
Xinhua News Service (China): One (1) point per mention.
People: Half (1/2) a point per mention.
Adult Video News: Two (2) points per mention.
National Review: Negative two (-2) points per mention, with additional penalty of one (1) point if the mention is a byline.
Kelsey Grammer: Negative one (-1) point for every $20 the sitcom star contributes to the candidate's campaign.
ELIGIBILITY: By registering to play, entrants agree to be bound by all the terms and conditions of the rules and regulations applicable to RotoRecall!® as provided by SF Weekly. SF Weekly reserves the right to make changes to these rules at any time. The following people are NOT eligible to win or receive any prizes: Iris Adam, Brooke Adams, Alex-St. James, Douglas Anderson, Angelyne, Mohammad Arif, Badi Badiozamani, Vik S. Bajwa, John W. Beard, Ed Beyer, Vip Bhola, Cheryl Bly-Chester, Audie Bock, Joel Britton, Art Brown, John Christopher Burton, Cruz M. Bustamante, Peter Miguel Camejo, Todd Carson, William “Bill” S. Chambers, Michael Cheli, D. (Logan Darrow) Clements, Gary Coleman, Mary “Mary Carey” Cook, Robert Cullenbine, Scott Davis, Robert “Butch” Dole, Bob Lynn Edwards, Warren Farrell, Dan Feinstein, Larry Flynt, Lorraine (Abner Zurd) Fontanes, Gene Forte, Diana Foss, Ronald J. Friedman, Leo Gallagher, Gerold Lee Gorman, Rich Gosse, James H. Green, Jack Loyd Grisham, Garrett Gruener, Joe Guzzardi, Ivan A. Hall, Ken Hamidi, Sara Ann Hanlon, C. Stephen Henderson, Ralph A. Hernandez, John J. “Jack” Hickey, Jim Hoffmann, Arianna Huffington, S. Issa, Michael Jackson, Trek Thunder Kelly, Edward “Ed” Kennedy, D.E. Kessinger, Kelly P. Kimball, Stephen L. Knapp, Eric Korevaar, Jerry Kunzman, Dick Lane, Gary Leonard, Todd Richard Lewis, Calvin Y. Louie, Frank A. Macaluso Jr., Paul “Chip” Mailander, Robert C. Mannheim, Bruce Margolin, Paul Mariano, Gino Martorana, Mike P. McCarthy, Bob McClain, Tom McClintock, Dennis Duggan McMahon, Mike McNeilly, Scott A. Mednick, Carl A. Mehr, Jonathan Miller, Darryl L. Mobley, Jeffrey L. Mock, John “Jack” Mortensen, Dorene Musilli, Paul Nave, Robert C. Newman II, Leonard Padilla, Ronald Jason Palmieri, Gregory J. Pawlik, Heather Peters, Charles “Chuck” Pineda Jr., Bill Prady, Darin Price, Bryan Quinn, Jeff Rainforth, Daniel C. “Danny” Ramirez, Christopher Ranken, Reva Renee Renz, Daniel W. Richards, Kevin Richter, Kurt E. “Tachikaze” Rightmyer, David Laughing Horse Robinson, Ned Roscoe, Sharon Rushford, Georgy Russell, Jamie Rosemary Safford, David Ronald Sams, Darrin H. Scheidle, Mike Schmier, George B. Schwartzman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Richard J. Simmons, Bill Simon, B.E. Smith, Randall D. Sprague, Christopher Sproul, Lawrence Steven Strauss, Tim Sylvester, A. Lavar Taylor, Diane Beall Templin, Patricia G. Tilley, Brian Tracy, William Tsangares, Peter V. Ueberroth, Marc Valdez, James M. Vandeventer Jr., Paul W. Vann, Bill Vaughn, Van Vo, Chuck Walker, Maurice Walker, Nathan Whitecloud Walton, Daniel Watts, C.T. Weber, Jim Weir, Lingel H. Winters, Michael J. Wozniak, Jon W. Zellhoefer.