S.F. Police To Motorcycle Enthusiasts: 'Turn That Crap Down!'

Hey, you! The motorcycle freak on the chopper so loud it's rattling my fillings out! Yeah, you! The San Francisco Police Department would like a word with you — a quiet word.

The SFPD will on Saturday announce a crackdown on choppers emitting a noise reminiscent of, as Kurt Vonnegut would have put it, “the opening of the zipper on the fly of God Almighty.” The cops' response is the result of a number of noise complaints lodged with the Board of Supervisors, emanating (not surprisingly) from some of the city's tonier and more cruise-worthy zones: Fisherman's Wharf, the Marina, The Embarcadero.

Sergeant Bob Guinan, who oversees the city's motorcycle unit, says his officers will be on the lookout — or, more accurately, on the hearout — for motorcyclists who have altered the mufflers of their bikes to emit a sound louder than 95 decibels. (for purposes of comparison, a large orchestra usually clocks in at around 98 decibels, front row of a rock concert at 110, and actual pain starts at 130. Guinan said none of the police bikes go louder than 68 dB, no matter how hard you rev them).

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