Safeway Manager Tells Dirty Secrets in Reddit AMA

The rogue Safeway manager returns for more barf-inducing tales of deli grossness, why checkout lines are so long, and how to win Safeway Monopoly.

A Safeway manager with zero f*cks left to give says “I’m pretty much done holding back,” and is revealing more revolting, behind-the-scenes details about the grocery chain you love to hate. The anonymous “mid-level manager” did a Reddit AMA (Ask Me Anything) about Safeway’s dirty secrets last October, and is back for another round of Safeway bombshells, including promises of disgraceful deli photos.

A Reddit moderator has verified this person’s status as a Safeway employee. But this employee, who goes by MaliciousHippie on Reddit, has yet to deliver on the scandalous deli photos. “Sorry its taking so long, some of these pics are a bit incriminating, but would reveal location,” MaliciousHippie says. “If I decide to pursue action against the store I need to know which ones I’ll be able to use against them.” (SF Weekly will update this article if the promised photos are ever posted, and has edited these answers with grammatical corrections.)

But MaliciousHippie has plenty more to say in the latest Safeway AMA about why checkout lines are so long, what kind of deli grossness happens, and how to win at Safeway Monopoly:

Why are Safeway Checkout Lines So Long?

“We probably get at least two sick calls a day, in the front end alone,” MaliciousHippie says. “We do have a system that monitors our checkout speed, there used to be a bit of focus there, but lately there have been so many problems I haven’t heard about checkout speed in months.”

“A big issue at Safeway, particularly the understaffed ones, is that the employees are poorly trained. Without thorough training, they will work about as hard as our bananas,” they continue. “Our store has very few trained checkers, and most of them are in the morning. Afternoon gets scraps.”

Is Safeway Employee Morale Low?

“Right now the store has an ass image and will falter against Amazon and the like,” the manager says. “Company culture is pretty depressed, no one has faith in Safeway, we do not believe they have workers’ interests in mind, no confidence in management, management does not intervene to prevent employee conflict.”

Is the Safeway Deli Gross and Disgusting?

“The deli is a living model of entropic depression,” the Redditor reports. “[Employees] hardly get trained, get min. wage, [the area] smells like ass, customers tend to be angrier.”

“The delis have been such an issue for Safeway they organize meetings between all the department managers to figure out why the service is so bad and turnover so high.”

Any Crazy Homeless Patron Stories?

“I have so many homeless stories it’s insane,” MaliciousHippie says. “We do almost nothing to stop theft and ‘unsavory’ individuals from doing whatever they want.”

“We have these three hoodrats who come in and clean our baby supplies and shrimp. Like, at least a few thousand worth of merchandise a few times a week.”

“We treat them like any other customer though. Even if they are particularly pungent. We know most of the regular homeless customers too. so no one really fucks with them,” they continue. “If they ask for food I give it to them, otherwise it’s higher chance for theft, and they’re just hungry.”

How Can We Improve Our Odds at the Safeway Monopoly Game?

“Get friendly with cashiers so they give you fat $tacks of Monopoly tickets,” the manager says.

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