Bizarre Crimes of the Week: Fork Stabbing, Hair Arson, Illegal Furs

A Friday dose of peculiarity.

San Francisco sees it’s fair share of crime — some serious, some less so. Here at SF Weekly, we’re paying attention to all of it — from the mundane to the bizarre. Here’s a roundup of some of the weirder situations that went down in our 49 square miles this week: 

Unprovoked Rock Attack
A 43-year-old man was assaulted with a multitude of weapons on Wednesday night while he walked down the sidewalk near Mission Street and Clarion Alley. At approximately 9:40 p.m. a man approached the victim and hit him on the head with a bottle, then attacked him with a metal tube and rocks before fleeing the scene on foot. 

Cement Mistake
SFist reports that a driver got themselves into a sticky situation Wednesday when they drove their Scion xB into a deep puddle of wet concrete. It’s unclear whether damaging one’s car in this way really constitutes a crime, though there must have been some sign-ignoring in order to get oneself into such a mess.

A Hair-Raising Experience
On Monday evening a middle-aged woman was riding the bus near Eighth and Market streets when a man sitting behind her pulled out a lighter and lit her hair on fire. The victim’s friend sprang into action, extinguishing the fire, and the man was taken into custody. 

Hungry Armed Robber
Late Sunday night a delivery man arrived at a home on the 700 block of Geary Street to drop off some food. After handing the bag over to a man in his late 20s, the delivery man was handed foreign currency as payment. When he confronted the customer he was pushed away and found himself staring down the barrel of a handgun. He fled the scene on foot and notified police, but an arrest wasn’t made. 

Road Rage With A Bat
Shortly after 5 p.m. on Sunday a 40-year-old man was almost hit by a car near the intersection of Polk and Union streets. The victim smacked the vehicle with his hand, and the driver responded by getting out of his car with a bat, and assaulting the man on the street. He then got back in his vehicle and left the scene, heading westbound down Green Street. 

Fork Assault
Last Saturday night, shortly before 9 p.m., a 53-year-old man was walking across Sanchez Street in the Castro when a man approached him and stabbed him with a fork. He was arrested, and the victim was transported to the hospital for treatment of his injuries. 

Furry Mistake
In addition to all the above, a vintage shop owner appeared in court this week on charges of selling clothes made out of endangered animals’ fur. Cecily Hansen of Decades of Fashion on Haight had her shop raided by Fish and Wildlife last February after a tipster notified the government agency that they’d spotted illegal items in her shop. When they searched the premises, authorities uncovered items such as a $4,500 cheetah and $850 ocelot coats. As our sister publication the Examiner reports, Hansen showed up in court on Wednesday “dressed in a brown vintage dress, a broad-brimmed, feather-pinned hat, and a shoulder fur.”

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