Bizarre Crimes of the Week: Meat Thief, Spit and Run, Illegal Pizza Eating

A Friday dose of peculiarity.

San Francisco sees it’s fair share of crime — some serious, some less so. Here at SF Weekly, we’re paying attention to all of it — from the mundane to the bizarre. Here’s a roundup of some of the weirder situations that went down in our 49 square miles this week: 

Carnivorous Thief
A meat shop on Jackson Street near the Embarcadero was robbed on Thursday night. Around 7:30 p.m. a man entered the shop and took a bunch of meat, resulting in a scuffle between him and a security guard. The guard suffered a cut above his eye, and was transported to the hospital for treatment. The thief fled the scene, and an arrest was not made. 

False Accusations
SF Media Company’s own Brenna D. shared this story with us after a hairy commute: “On the 8-Muni bus heading downtown from North Beach Thursday morning, there was a man sitting in the back. He didn’t seem agitated but was muttering terrible insults. An African-American family boarded the bus in Chinatown — mom, dad and young son. They were standing there near the man because there were no seats (it was a completely full bus) when he got up and began yelling loudly “he’s got a knife or a gun! He’s got a knife or a gun! Stop staring at me bro!” directed at the man in the family who’d just boarded.
“The accused man became super defensive and started yelling back across the bus that he didn’t have anything, that the guy was crazy, that he was just taking his son to school. The other man yelled to the bus driver that the guy had a knife or gun and to stop the bus. The men then started threatening each other and it seemed like they might fight. The mother became alarmed and broke the glass case with the emergency stop button, cutting her hand. The driver stopped the bus at that point and the family got off, while the other man continued yelling through the window at the family that he wanted to ‘go one on one” with the guy.'”

When Acid Attacks
Park Station police officers responded to reports of a battery on Oak Street Wednesday evening. The victim told officers he’d been near the Bank of America ATMs on Oak and Broderick streets when he was struck from behind, falling to the ground. When he looked up, a stranger told him “I had to,” then strolled away. The victim tailed the suspect while calling 911. Upon making contact with the attacker, officers noted that he appeared to be under the influence of drugs, and he told them he had taken “a bunch of acid.” Medics responded to the scene, and the victim signed paperwork for a citizen’s arrest.

Spit and Run
On Wednesday morning shortly after 8:15 a.m. police responded to reports of an assault in the Bayview. According to SFPD’s report, a 52-year-old man was spit on and threatened by another man. The suspect got into his vehicle and attempted to run the victim over. No arrest was made. 

Rear End Assault
Later in the day on Wednesday, a 35-year-old man was walking down Stanyan near Haight Street in the afternoon after leaving the local McDonalds, when an unknown man, age 25, approached him from behind and stabbed him in the buttocks with a knife. According to Park Station, the victim did not realize he’d been stabbed until he noticed blood on his hand. He returned to the McDonalds bathroom to investigate the severity of his wound, and while there a stranger offered to drive him to St. Mary’s Hospital. SFPD arrived and took the victim’s statement. The two men did not know each other, and the attack appeared to be unprovoked. The suspect was described by the victim as having a “unabomber look.”

Forever Pepper
Last Monday a teenage girl entered a Forever 21 store in the Stonestown Mall and fired off a container of pepper spray. Sixteen people suffered eye irritation and breathing problems, and medical teams arrived at the scene. Three victims were transported to the hospital, and the assailant fled the scene. 

Illegal Pizza Eating
Last but not least, a senior was given a ticket by SFPD for eating pizza at a bus stop sometime this week. Kelley Cutler of the Coalition on Homelessness tweeted about the strange event after the man came into their office for assistance with his citation defense. There is no visible date in regards to when the citation was issued, but the address of the “crime” is listed as “Market and Charles Brenham” — which is basically Market and Seventh streets.

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