Texans Petition Obama to Let Lone Star State Secede

If you were planning to pack up your Chick-fil-A coupons and move to Texas — where the death penalty is considered a Hallmark moment and there is no such thing as state income tax — you might want to hold your horses.

After threatening another Civil War if President Barack Obama won reelection, the bitter folks down in Texas and Alabama are attempting to make a graceful exit from the United States of America and create their own (damn scary) government.

Some 30,000 people have signed a petition, asking Obama if Texas could please sever ties with the rest of the freaky union so it can continue its intolerance in peace.

See also: Texas Judge Hopes Obama Will Win So He'll Have an Excuse to Start Another Civil War

Top 5 Reasons Californians Are Moving to Texas

Here's what the petition says:

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