The Six Crimes of Christmas

Multiple robberies — or forced sharing — set off during the holiday.

While some people spent Christmas getting belligerent with family or watching toddlers do a happy dance after opening presents, others kept the city crime tally going steady.

Just three minutes into Christmas Day, a group of four men got into an argument until one hit the other with a bottle on Broadway and Kearny Street in North Beach, police said Tuesday. One added a punch before the second victim was also hit with a bottle while trying to push the first suspect away from his fellow victim.

Both suspects fled in a car, and the victims were sent to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

One minute later — and that’s 12:04 a.m., so it’s almost as if people couldn’t wait to rough people up as soon as it officially became Christmas — two men approached a third man on the 1000 block of Harrison Street in SoMa before stealing his bike and heading north on Harriet Street.

Later, at 2:40 a.m., three men on Oakdale Avenue in the Bayview robbed a man. They went through the victim’s pockets and took his cell phone and cash before departing on foot.

While most people were tearing into wrapping paper with their bare fingers, a man with scissors chased a woman on the 4000 block of Mission Street in Bernal Heights around 11:20 a.m. The victim dropped her phone, which the suspect ran off with before the police arrested him and returned the phone.

Just before 9 p.m., three men jumped out of a car at Williams Avenue and Third Street in the Bayview and pushed another man to the ground. They took off with cash and the victim’s passport.

The group with the least amount of Christmas spirit rounded out the day’s crimes by holding a woman and man at gunpoint in the Richmond near the Great Highway. Two men and one woman nabbed the pair’s wallets and cell phones before fleeing in a car.

No word yet on any home invasions by a big man in red entering through the chimney.

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