The Snatch: Every Goddamn Thing Is for Sale

What You Pay For

All those long hours you work to pay for that studio apartment you can't actually afford is clearly wearing you down. According to a new survey, San Francisco is the fourth most stressed-out city in America., a real estate blog, looked at a bunch of factors and determined that the high cost of living in San Francisco is squarely to blame for our mounting mental anxiety. Per the blog: “The cost of living index in San Francisco was higher than any of the other 99 places we looked at for this ranking, coming in at a staggering 52 percent higher than the national average.” Only Miami, New York, and Washington, D.C. (politics) were more stressed out than us. But if this news has swayed your decision to move to Oakland, the survey shows that Oakland is the ninth most stressed-out city, thanks to violent crime on top of a high cost of living. We'd suggest a two-hour massage, but we know you probably can't afford it.

Land Grab

If you had to summarize in one tiny app San Francisco's current state of dysfunction, Monkey Parking is it: an only-in-San Francisco (and one other city) app that lets drivers auction off their parking spots to the highest-paying sucker. News of the app was first reported on Uptown Almanac, which gave readers a blow-by-blow on how to capitalize off tired, pissy drivers who just want to park their car — and would be willing to pay for it. Enter Paolo Dobrowolny, an Italian tech bro who decided San Francisco was the perfect spot to test out his new experiment. Here's how it works: You find a parking spot, revel a little, let Monkey Parking know where you're located, and watch the bidding begin. “Make money every time that you leave your spot: like with Lyft, Uber or Sidecar you can become a MonkeyParker and pay your bills,” it reads on the app's website. Now for the burning question: Is this even legal?

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