Weekly Obsessions

Our new column goes from H. Brown's drinking to Halo 2. And beyond.

Things we were obsessing about on Nov. 17, 2004:

Before this election's first returns came in, one thing was already obvious: For better or worse, we were going to drink our way through it. A local authority on this behavior is blogger H. Brown, whose take-no-prisoners posts at www.sfbulldog.com offered some of the most, ahem, colorful coverage of local races. When Matier & Ross “reported” that H. had been thrown in the pokey after a tipsy skirmish with local cops on election night, Brown fired back that “Phil Matier is a piece of shit,” and our response was simple: We'll have what he's having. N.C.

It's not often that we get excited about a supermarket (OK, it's never happened before), but the opening of a Safeway near the SF Weekly offices thrilled us to the core. In our so-called “Mission Bay” neighborhood, the food situation sucks: Restaurants are either too spendy (hello, Bacar) or too disgusting (yippee! a Subway in the Caltrain station!), and the nearest grocery store is Whole Foods (aka Whole Paycheck) way down past Harrison. Gentrification be damned; we're psyched to buy a banana for less than a buck. K.Z.

If the end of the political season has left you jonesing for a poll-watching fix, we recommend monitoring the tight popularity contest between two of San Francisco's high-profile ambassadors — Mayor Gavin Newsom and harp-playing indie-folk sensation Joanna Newsom, who are second cousins. The ultrascientific polling data obtained through Google finds that young Ms. Newsom gets top billing over her kin when simply “Newsom” is queried. But when their names are searched individually, Gavin's 108,000 hits trump Joanna's paltry 40,600. N.C.

If you don't know who the Master Chief is, you suck. If you're unfamiliar with Warthogs and Banshees and Scorpion tanks, you've got your thumb up your ass. If you fail to find it mind-blowing that you can now be an alien soldier fighting to win a galactic civil war that will ultimately determine the fate of planet Earth, not to mention the universe, you're shit out of luck. If you don't have two televisions system-linked together to make for two-on-two competitive play, you're a loser. If you haven't heard that Halo 2 came out for Xbox last week and have been wondering why the streets have been empty, you're a big fucking dork. And we pity you. G.K.

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