Suspecting that your boyfriend may be cheating on you is a stressful experience. Many signs could tip you off. Sometimes, these are coincidences. Other times, you should trust your gut feeling and investigate.
So, how can you tell if your partner is cheating?
We know you want to find answers, so we put together all the signs you want to watch out for and how to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you or if your self-esteem is playing tricks on you.
Signs Your Boyfriend is Cheating
There are many ways to tell if your partner is stepping out of your relationship. Sometimes, these signs are evident. Other times it is harder to figure out if you should be worried. Tread carefully when investigating.
Not all men cheat, and you don’t want to accuse your partner, and then it turns out the “new woman” on the phone is his mother. There might be an explanation for the tough patch your relationship is in, but better safe than sorry!
The first indication of trouble in paradise is often a gut instinct that something is off. Maybe your partner is acting emotionally distant or hiding things. Or, he has stopped sleeping in the same bed and is making late-night phone calls or picking fights.
You might have identified a red flag (or several) and are wondering whether to trust your gut or not.
Before basing accusations on a gut feeling alone, try to look more deeply at his behavior. It could be the case that the trivial things you are looking at as evidence are just signs that your relationship has gotten more comfortable and he is no longer in the early stages of courting you.
In many cases, you can safely trust your intuition. You know your partner and relationship better than anybody else. If you have an idea that something is going on, it could be true.
Before deciding that your man’s body language and mood swings are sure signs of cheating, look at his other behaviors or enlist some help from a relationship expert.
There are other reasons you could have a gut feeling about your partner. Maybe he is hiding something other than an affair. He could be struggling emotionally, having trouble at work, or planning a big surprise for you.
Explore all avenues before accusing him.
One of the tell-tale signs of cheating is if your partner suddenly acts guilty.
He could be avoiding eye contact, suddenly buying you guilt gifts, having mood swings, locking down or hiding his social media accounts, or other indicators.
Sometimes, he accuses you of cheating to cover up that he feels guilty for what he has done. This behavior is often the first sign of trouble in your relationship.
If you are in a long-term relationship and unsure if his romantic energy has shifted because of guilt over a new person in his life, you might want to do some digging.
Ask his family members if they have noticed the change, examine his social media accounts for new friends, consult with a relationship hero, or take note if he is exhibiting any of the other behaviors we list here.
If he seems like he is feeling guilty about something, that could be a red flag.
However, your boyfriend may not be acting guilty to cover up his cheating ways. He could be over-attentive and on edge because of something else going on. The best way to figure this out is to talk to your partner.
Tell your partner that you notice that he is acting differently towards you. Pay attention to his reaction to the question.
If he is still not telling you the truth there are online tools that use deep web search technology to find hidden social accounts, second phone numbers, and more:
Does your boyfriend seem different than usual? Is he more or less active on his social media accounts? Does he appear to be hiding something when you come in from the other room?
There are many explanations for sudden behavior changes, but you know your partner. You should be able to tell if something seems off.
If your boyfriend is coming home with a different type of clothing than usual or developing new interests, this could be a sign of cheating. New interests might include listening to new music or other uncharacteristic activities during his free time.
On the other hand, your partner picking up new interests or buying new clothes could be a good sign that he is trying to keep your relationship exciting. However, coupled with picking fights or keeping secrets, this is not a great sign.
A Second Phone
One of the clearest signs he’s cheating is his phone use.
If your partner is suddenly spending more time on his phone or is hiding the screen so you cannot see it, he probably is hiding secrets within.
Sometimes, cheaters even have a second phone. A second phone is a sure sign that something shady is going on behind your back.
However, if your partner has a second phone, he probably is taking extreme measures to keep it from you.
He might leave it in the other room when you and he are together, or he has a hiding spot that is too difficult for you to discover.
So, does your boyfriend have a second phone? Find out here.
Once you find a second phone or figure out what he is hiding from you, be prepared for a shock.
His Facebook messages or texts could contain details you are not ready to see. Make sure you have supportive friends if it genuinely is a worst-case scenario.
If your partner is suddenly keeping some new company, this could be a negative sign.
Maybe he’s just being more social, or that boy’s night was a cover for an affair.
You should pay attention if he seems to be more focused on spending time with new friends, work colleagues, or “family members” you’ve never met before.
You can ask him directly, hire a private investigator to follow him, or use a service designed to help you find out if he’s cheating.
Many men will tell on themselves. If there is a particular new friend or acquaintance that he frequently mentions, this could be a sign that he is telling you about his affair.
If he’s mentioning someone frequently with no apparent reason, take it as a sign to investigate further. Find out more about this person and their role in your boyfriend’s life.
New friends aren’t always a bad sign, and your man could simply be excited to have formed a new connection, but this can easily lead to an affair, and it’s your right to know what’s going on.
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Sudden Interest in Someone Else’s Relationship
If he talks to you excessively about someone else, you might be able to take this as a hint that he is involved with this person.
He may be giving that person relationship advice and telling you about it, while you are unaware that he’s revealing details about his own relationship with her.
Alternatively, he might be complaining about her significant other. If this seems off to you, it’s because you should trust your gut instinct.
Maybe your boyfriend is communicating frustration about his secret partner’s love life because they are embroiled in an affair.
Changes in Sex Life
A cheating partner often displays one major red flag: a change in their sex life.
If he is having sex with the other woman, he might ask for or desire less sex with you. He might have lost interest in your relationship.
However, the opposite is also true. If he is asking for more sex, this can also indicate cheating. He will try to cover up the fact that there is anything amiss by increasing the frequency of sex in your relationship.
Another thing to look at is a change in your sexual activity. If his interests in the bedroom suddenly change, this could be from any outside influence. Some guys will try to impress their new girl with male enhancements such as Semenax.
Of course, changes in libido or sexual interests do not necessarily mean your boyfriend is cheating. These changes often come from stress, health, social obligations, work pressures, or more.
Sometimes, people will seek an outside relationship to fulfill needs that aren’t being met in their current relationship. This can include sex, affection, or other interpersonal needs.
It could be that your partner has low self-esteem and is seeking sex with other people to reassure himself that he is still attractive or desired.
Either way, cheating is not moral, and you have to decide how you want to move forward in your relationship.
Changes in Attention
If you wonder, “Is he cheating on me?” then chances are you have noticed a severe shift of his attention towards you.
This change can go either way: maybe he is over-attentive and treating you like royalty to cover up that he is giving attention to the other woman, or perhaps he is withdrawn and sullen, barely acknowledging you.
Either reality can be a significant cause of distress in a serious relationship. If you are used to a certain level of affection and attention from your partner, it can be jarring to observe a change.
You probably feel unloved or unwanted, suspicious, and paranoid. Believing that your boyfriend is cheating on you is a very emotionally-draining experience.
Keep watching his behavior and pay attention to how your partner is treating you. Your observations may help you determine if it is a temporary change not related to infidelity or if there is something that you need to worry about.
Everyone wants to feel secure in their relationship. The uncertainty caused by changes in your partner’s behavior or the level of attention received is difficult to manage.
Change in Fashion Taste
If your boyfriend is entertaining a new partner, a change in his overall appearance could be a sign to look out for.
If he is suddenly buying new clothes and dressing differently than you are used to, you should be on the lookout for signs of a secret partner.
While it’s true that enhanced care surrounding tastes in clothing could be an attempt on his part to improve his mental health and ensure that you are still interested in him, it could also be a sign of cheating.
Often, when men are interested in a new woman, they do what is referred to as “peacocking.” Imagine a peacock with colorful feathers and a fluffed-up appearance trying to attract a mate.
Your man could be doing something similar: wearing new, hip clothing to catch the attention of another woman.
More Concern About Personal Hygiene
Other signs that he’s altering his appearance for a new woman include:
- Changing his cologne.
- Spending more time showering or in front of the mirror.
- Spending more time on his grooming habits before leaving the house.
- Sudden changes in haircut preferences.
- Researching new personal care products designed to attract attention.
If your partner pays meticulous attention to his appearance, it is harder to catch him preening for a secret relationship.
In this case, you should reflect on his habits at the beginning of your relationship. When partnerships are new, most people work extra hard to impress and woo their significant other.
Compare his behavior back then to his behavior now. Has he adopted some of the grooming tendencies that he lost as you became more comfortable?
If so, you could be facing an affair. You should consult with a dating expert to help you confront the issue.
I want to warn you, if you go down this path you may find out information that could be hurtful and change the way you feel about your partner forever. If you are ok with that then click here to get started.
Spending More Money
Is your boyfriend spending more money than usual? Do you notice that money seems to be missing from his account or yours with no apparent explanation?
Having an affair often costs a lot of money.
A cheating partner is trying to impress his new woman by taking her out for elaborate dinners and dates, spending more money on his appearance, and purchasing expensive gifts.
In addition to spending money on their relationship, hiding a secret relationship also costs money.
The costs of hiding an illicit affair include:
- Paying for an expensive hotel rendezvous.
- Traveling to other cities to have dates where family or friends will not recognize them or even renewing his passport to take a romantic cruise.
- Paying more to take extra precautions to hide gift-buying.
There are many reasons why people cheat, and low self-esteem is one of them.
Sometimes, spending exorbitant amounts of money on a new partner will help your boyfriend receive the validation he needs to start feeling better about himself.
Don’t Rule Anything Out
Besides what we have listed here, there are many other signs that he could be cheating.
If something seems “off” to you, do not ignore that. Any change in behavior or attentiveness can indicate a danger to your relationship.
Should you wish to preserve your relationship, you must find out as soon as possible if your boyfriend is cheating so that you can take action. Only through communication and honesty will you be able to move past such a massive betrayal.
What to Do When You Catch Him Cheating
Once you have confirmed that your boyfriend is cheating on you, carefully consider your next steps. Where do you want the relationship to go from here?
This is the most critical decision you have to make. Do you wish to stay with your partner, or do you want to move on without him?
Prepare for the Confrontation
It would be best to decide how you will confront him and what you expect out of that encounter. Otherwise, you might be lost for words or fumbling to explain your evidence.
First, gather all of the evidence you have compiled so that he cannot lie his way out of the situation. He might try to confuse you with an alternative story when you confront him even though you already know the truth.
Stand Your Ground
Be strong and stick to your guns. Tell him your expectations, what direction you want the relationship to go in, and how you expect him to rectify the situation.
What he has done to you is wrong, and it is reasonable to expect him to take steps to repair the relationship. These steps can include:
- Ending all contact with his secret partner and terminating the new relationship immediately.
- Attending counseling with a family therapist or relationship expert.
- Making an effort to spend time together, whether just watching television or going on elaborate dates.
- Proving that he is committed to you.
- Any other way you can think of that will help you feel secure in the relationship.
You might feel that making demands of him is taking an extreme route to fix your partnership, but you deserve to be treated correctly and for him to right his wrong.
Avoid the Guilt Trip
You don’t have to aim to make him feel guilty- chances are, he already feels this way.
However, stand your ground and expect accountability. As his girlfriend, you should be the most important person in his life, and it is okay to expect to be treated as such.
Moving Forward Together
If you and your boyfriend decide to make your relationship last, it will take dedicated effort from both parties. You will have to set goals together and agree on how your partnership will look going forward.
Work together to plan for moving past the cheating and having a long-lasting, happy partnership. The most crucial part of getting over infidelity is deciding not to live in the past.
You must demand that your boyfriend own up to what he did and be honest with you about it.
However, the longer you spend dwelling on his mistakes and what he should have done differently, the more miserable you two will be together.
Hopefully, this article helped you answer the question, “Is my boyfriend cheating on me?” and provided some helpful ways to right this terrible wrong.
If you still aren’t sure if you are interpreting the signs correctly and need help figuring out if he is stepping out on you, get help from a professional service.
They can help you confirm once and for all if your relationship is in danger and can provide you with some relationship how-tos. Not only will they give you advice, but they will offer a definitive answer about whether or not your man is a cheater.
We all want our relationships to be successful, but the reality is that sometimes men cheat. We have to take it into our hands to discover the truth and move forward.